Remember when you were a kid in school and you had a big, fat summer reading list? All the books were so terrible, I’m pretty sure I just read Lord of the Flies six years in a row.
Anyhoozles, just because we’re adults now, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep our minds sharp during the summer months. So here’s a totally solid book recommendation for you: Snoop Dogg’s Love Don’t Live Here No More: Doggy Tales Vol. 1.
I luckily found this in the bargain bin at my neighborhood Barnes & Noble for only $4.98. HARDCOVER! Apparently, they’re not flizzying off the shizzelves. I can’t imagine why though, because it turns out this book is like the Bible…in that you can open up to literally any page, and it’s hilarious.
Let’s read an excerpt from the first page of the first chapter, shall we?
Throwing bricks through car windows, crank-ringing doorbells, stealing candy from the corner store, and hanging out in the alley with baby hoodrats, lifting up their shirts and looking at their baby breasts, nipples shaped like Mike & Ikes.
WHAT. Looks like Snoop Dogg didn’t have a ghostwriter for this one! It goes on…
It’s not like they were all the big, but to us they were winning.
WINNING? Were they in a contest for weirdest candy look-a-like nipples??
I’ll tell you what’s winning. THIS BOOK. The whole way through. And there were six stacks of them halfway to the ceiling on my last trip to the bookstore. So go pick one up! It’s your summer reading assignment!
